Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
