At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
