i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You need Xanax blowdarts
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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