It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
