Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
