I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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