So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
And then he peed in my hair
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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