it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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