their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
