Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he thought i was a dude.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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