ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
