i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
