I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
