Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
