Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
