this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
