Don't make out with my wife yet
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
