i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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