They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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