Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
