so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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