Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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