Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
