I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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