Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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