why didn't you poke me back
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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