the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
