One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my shit smells like andre
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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