Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I enjoy the company of your penis
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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