Are we in a gay sports bar?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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