The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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