There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
