so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
