Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
