what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
