her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
