Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't deserve a penis
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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