hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
