Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
All the doctor said was why
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
