I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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