somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
