go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
