does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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