I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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