Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
