Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize