I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
