dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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