Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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