Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
