I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
