I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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