I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
