I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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