Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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