sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
