Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize