you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
