His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
