found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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