took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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