brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
