And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
