I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
