The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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