If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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